With time-honored articles proliferated about emotionally abusive piano teachers and their negative impact on students, it’s time to explore the ingredients of a positive, growth-affirming relationship between two parties striving toward the same goal of creative musical expression. Such a discussion that embodies week to week lessons, addresses an environment of nonjudgmental self-acceptance, patience, and a willingness to explore new ideas, springing from constructive, nurturant criticism. (This includes a seamless flow of ideas between pupil and teacher based on an equality of exchange without a POWER hierarchy.)
In this piano lesson cosmos, suggestions imparted by a teacher should in no way be personal attacks on students student’s difficulty in absorbing a revision; or not meeting a learning deadline or being fully practiced or prepared for a lesson. None of the aforementioned should have any legitimacy in a learning environment. Yet, in some instances, a student who’s had negative interactions with a previous teacher (s) may come to lessons with an overlay of distrust. (This same issue may apply to pupils whose parents were relentlessly authoritarian and regarded lessons as stepping stones to competitions – wins would, in some cases, advance future college admissions and enhance self-worth.) For some piano learners, attaining “first place,” and nothing short of it was the primary goal! (academic awards and decathlons included)
Some of these pupils, (now adults) burdened by a drone of past crippling value judgments and expectations, might view any teacher imparted suggestions as an assault on their personal adequacy–as putdowns or devaluations of self-worth, when they are nothing of the kind.
In many instances, these pupils will voice their misgivings at lessons in a self-punishing tone: 1) “I didn’t practice enough this week so maybe it’s not worth playing today.” 2) “I should have ‘gotten’ this piece by now.” 3) You’ve reminded me of that same fingering change more than a few times. 3) “I’m not making enough progress– not getting where I’m supposed to be. (Expectations drown out the joy of the here and now) The student keeps beating himself up, getting more tense by the minute and tying himself in knots. Wrists and arms become locked, making the lesson a rocky road. It’s almost a self-fulfilling prophecy that’s in motion.
The best way to deal with such mounting tension and negativity is to explain that suggestions or revisions are a means to extract musical expression that’s embedded within the student and bring it to the surface to celebrate and enjoy; that there are NO deadlines imposed in our mutual learning relationship–No grades, progress reports, or anything resembling. In short, we are on a timeless, equal partnered musical journey that is selfless, and without judgment.
In this context, natural breathing, relaxation, and hear and now focus become the best recommended antidotes to repeated trauma themed self-recordings that rewind in and out of lessons.
In my particular teaching practice of all adults, I emphasize a “creative process” that includes “experimentation and mutual self-discovery.” Yet in order to have meaning and validity, we in the mentoring universe must explore our own relationship to the learning process–and cleanse it of ego related strivings, power pursuit/aspirations, or hyper-critical tendencies. In so many words, how we relate to the piano is paramount to how it filters out to our pupils.
Finally, in the realm of a satisfying, uplifting exchange of ideas with a student, I’ve included this video: an exploration of Robert Schumann’s No. 19, Album for the Young, Op. 68.
Every three months our student family gathers for a Zoom Music Sharing event that has evolved as a wonderful venue of support, with a discussion following about what it feels like to play for others–how we prepare, how we navigate our practicing, revisions, etc. We are collectively growing and developing in a loving space that will widen with each revisit.
from Arioso7's Blog (Shirley Kirsten)
https://arioso7.wordpress.com/2023/01/27/fostering-a-healthy-interaction-between-piano-student-and-teacher/
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